Gay Baby Names
80Gay Baby Names - Don't Get Me Started!
A dear friend of mine and her husband (one of the gayest straight men I've ever met and I'm betting that he is very excited that he gets to carry a man purse now and call it a "diaper bag") welcomed their first child into the world and his name is Chance. I think it's really a different choice for a child's name. (Not bad different, like my grandmother used to say whenever she didn't like what you were wearing or your new haircut and she would say, "Well, that's different" but the tone was such that you knew she just hated it. This is not the different I meant although it's always the first thought that comes to my mind whenever someone says the word and I immediately get defensive. A Pavlovian response to be sure, all someone has to do is mention the word "different" and I immediately become defensive, hurt and start striking back with full force gay sarcasm. It can be minutes before I hear them say, "Scott, stop I really just meant the color of your shirt was different than anything I'd ever seen." Embarrassed, I do my best Emily Littella/Gilda Radner, "Oh, that's very different. Never mind.") But the more I heard this name, the cooler I thought it was and thought about how names can solicit such a response within us as to send our imaginations wild with what the name suggests the person is or in this case, is going to be when he's grown. Let's take this name, Chance. Chance is a kind of preppy guy who looks like an Abercrombie and Fitch sort, right? He's good looking and well liked with an easy manner about him, right? He's probably straight but cool that guys find him attractive too, not freaked out by it and doesn't exploit it. So in just the same way; I started to think about all the guys with names that say they're gay right from the get go. (Now true, some gays actually use their middle name to get even gayer than their name already is or there are some who just use the fullness of their name like Stephen instead of Steve or Phillip to gay it up but there are still plenty of people naming their kids names that come with lisp included too, you know, like Bryce.) Do these parents not know they're setting their kids up? Gay Baby Names - Don't Get Me Started!
Now before you all get outraged, get over it. And tell me you never thought it was "unfortunate" when a friend named their child, "Oscar" and all you could think of is the fact that he'll always be compared to the green Muppet that lives in a garbage can or Jack Klugman?
It's not just "gay" names I don't get. I don't get all the made up, pseudo-African names that people are making up left and right. You know like Aquansha or Dasooti. What are these people thinking? These are not people like poor NBA great Anferney Hardaway's mother who obviously thought she was spelling Anthony, no these people are really going out of their way to come up with stupid names that make no sense. And can anyone explain to me the whole apostrophe atrocities that occur like D'Onfre or D'Mia - me a don't understand. Finally there are the people who name their children after a product, like Lexus or Perrier because they think the names are "pretty" - dear God people, you have a child here, it's not a sparkling water and nine times out of ten they end up with the personality of a dead flashlight battery (size D). Not to mention the real tragedy which of course we all know is that they'll never be able to find a souvenir miniature license plate with their name on it when on vacation!
I was very fortunate that my mother's first choice of name for me got nixed at the last minute (though I think some of the gayness definitely remained). My name was going to be Seth. A nice name but can you imagine an effeminate boy saying over and over again, "Yeth my name is Seth?" (I can hear you laughing from here - I am too) This may be the only calamity I managed to avoid in my life but even if it's the only one, at least we know it was a good one. Having been given the name Scott there's really not much you can do to gay it up other than if I was a twink then I could use, "Scotty" but that's about it.
Some names are much more gayable than others. Let's play the gay name game, shall we? First you start out with a name and you gay it up to fit the gay stereotype. (Fill in additional stereotypes and names for fun)
Here we go - Michael
- Twink - Mikey
- Bear - Mike
- Corporate Gay - Michael
Here's another one - Robert
- Twink - Bobby
- Bear - Bob or Rob
- Corporate Gay - Robert
Now see if you can do one - (it's a little tougher and I'll put the answers in backward so you can guess first) - William
- Twink - (ylliB)
- Bear - (lliB)
- Corporate Gay - (mailliW)
Sometimes when I meet someone I really wonder how their parents knew that they were going to be gay when they gave them such a great gay name but most of the gays did it to themselves by getting a little too creative for their own good. You know the ones who choose the whole first initial and then middle name business because the first name is too common for them (i.e., Michael Blaine Smith becomes M. Blaine Smith) or the ones who initial themselves up to give a little acronym meets army kind of feel that usually ends in an "R" (i.e., T. R., J.R., etc.). No, we gays just don't know when to leave good things alone - if there's a couch we're putting contrasting throw pillows on it, if it's our name we're gaying it up. Although there's no denying that without their knowledge, sometimes parents help out with the initial canvas that is our name, which sometimes, we later redecorate. Gay Baby Names - Don't Get Me Started!
Although I wrote this blog a long time ago, it continues to be the most viewed of any I've ever written (and it's viewed A LOT) so I would love to know what brought you to this entry and what if anything you thought of it. Thanks for sharing - Scott
Visit The Whole Wacky World According To Scott @
- Some Like It Scott!
An acquired taste, like Tab cola, Some Like It Scott is one gay man's experiences with love, life and things that make him crazy, all done to a musical theatre soundtrack.
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Love it! Very true. Another gret HUB from you. You rock.
I coughed on my iced tea imagining your Emily LaTella voice saying, nevermind! And then I did it again thinking Yeth! My name is Seth!
My name is Veronica, and I go by "Very". What's that say about me, Dahling?
hmmm... I think you're right.
Martini "Very" dirty, and bring it "very fast!
"Very"many pairs of Manolo Blahnik "Very" high heels.
LMAO! Great hub!! :))) Chance is a very popular hero name in romance novels, by the way. And you totally described it perfectly. A&F all the way. As for the stupid names.. I had a friend name his daughter Diamante. All I kept thinking was.. that's a car... innit?? Poor kid.
At last your mother finally did something RIGHT!!!!! Larry King named his son Chance and I thought is was pretty strange but cool! You could have never made it with a name like Seth, trust me.
My name is steve and I am a homosexual
Ha! So true... my best friend's name is Chris, but he started going by his middle name, Dale, when he came out (and similtaneously moved away from our home town, no less).
Enjoyable read, thanks a lot!
is tyler or ruben a gay name
Oh, excellent! This made me laugh, a lot :)
sometimes you get named brittany bourne... and then you have to do porn.
.... i'm not to that point yet.
Made my wife and I both laugh... we're having twins (soon... sometime in the next few weeks likely), and one of my friends keeps calling himself "Uncle Steve." My wife commented that it sounds like the gay uncle... so I looked up "Steve" and "gay" and got this! Thanks for the laughs!
LOL
How about Industrialization as a girl's name? Or Vilen (Vladimir Il'ich LENin) as a boy's? We had a plenty of those and alike at the early years of communist era. I guess it's all from the lack of education...
I came to this because the title was interesting and your stuff is often funny. This met my expectations as I laughed heartily throughout. By the way, in the movie Rio Bravo, John Wayne's name is Chance. Hmmm. Not so gay (but he did kinda walk like a girl.)
I followed Christoph here and am so glad I did!
First, I absolutely LOVE your user name -- assume you are as big a fan of the original as I am!
Great topic, clever writing. How about one on butch names, or do you not do girls-:)?
BTW, in the double your gay pleasure dept: Brad & Brad, real couple. We call them "the Brads"
Hi Mighty Mom. Following me, huh? Cool. In college we had two Brians. They were Bri Bri 1 and Bri Bri 2. (That was their names for themselves...I'm not insulting them.)
I just looked up "gay names" because I'm trying to think of a gay nickname for a boy. This was a very nice result, haha. Hilarious AND helpful.
Was looking for an English name for my Chinese lesbian friend. Quite entertaining though, haha.
I ended up here because I was searching for a list of "gay names." I think I have one of the gayest names. From my research however Lance and Bruce seem to be considered the gayest due in large part to Homer Simpson.
You are really fun to read. I wanted a girl so I had the name picked out. Then I had a boy. I told my husband he could name him with my approval. He said he didn't want a name that could have a y or ie added to it. His given name was Billie! So he suggests, Bat (Bat Masterson) I say NO, Wyatt (Earp) NO, Marshall NO, Casey (Casey Jones) I said YES. i guess he wanted to be a cowboy with a deep seeded quest to be an engineer. U see you can't add another y or ie
Haha this is hilarious.
I came here because I saw some friend's gay party pics on http://www.noizemag.com/coppermine/ and I wanted to leave a comment with the gayest name possible. LOL, I am so glad I hit upon your blog.
Sam Industralized Nymph (SiN)
"If there's a couch, we're putting contrasting throw pillows on it" damn near made me pee myself. OH MY WORD, SCOTT. You are one funny 'mo! Loved it, loved it, loved it! I am forwarding this to about 10 people.
BTW, I was teleported to your Hub when I did a search on "Popular Baby Name" articles, because I wanted to see what is out there, as I am about to write my own article on the subject. Stay tuned.
I am about to join your fan club. Please send me my newsletter, pin, and tee shirt. I will send you my $4.95, S&H. Thank you.
Hee, this is hilarious, and I'm shocked that I've overlooked it for so long. Oh well, better late than never!
OK, Patricia recommended you in her interview, and I chose this hub (which I gave a thumbs up) because it sounded like a quick read.
LMAO... Loved this.. I'm into the spelling of names. The Thom for Tom etc. I'm now hung up on thing names.. ie, Jett, Train, Box, Moon, hell, why not.... Shoe or.... ?
You wanted to know what brought me to the page--I was wondering if my husband's name might have a sterotype of being gay. I think it does! It's the name "Todd."
Fun page!
You rank pretty high in google for "gay name" :)
Ok cool about the whole gay names concept..... but why must you dogg us black people like that... like honestly.. maybe you don't get the reason for us naming our children these names is because its not for you to get... as for white people who name their children dakota and rumor get outta here.....
My name is Jeremy can you gay it up for me?
Middle Name is Nathaniel~ :) Thanks~
I entered Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona and your blog popped up...go figure. You have a great sense of "it is what it is". I have 2 cousins; one named Erik, the other Kurt. Guess which one is gay? When we were expecting our son, we pulled out a series of books on the History of the Wild West and found Cody. After my divorce from my ex Lonnie (?!?!?!), I met a man named Michael. When I called him Mike, he got offended. Although he was a great "one night stand", his house was decorated so impeccably (he's a car salesman), I questioned, in my mind, which way he swung...is that even correct gay grammar. Anyway, very enjoyable reading. Blessings!
im so gay then am i. i hate websites like this just because you have a crappy name you take the piss out of everyone else!!!
lol...I was going to take offense to the "African-American" name comment, but as public school teacher I have to agree with you. Please make a note that it is not a "Black thing" I'm convinced that the names people give their children have great meaning to them. It's a cultural thing.
I read this ages ago and I re-read it this morning because I remember it being so funny.
Still love it! A classic.
I still want a tee shirt with your picture on it.
What brought me here? Catching up on ScottReads.
Of course you made me laugh, again.
Here's one for you.
First and last names that rhyme.
Years ago while working for a hospital, one of my duties, type new birth records, mail them off to the Hall of Records. One name made me leave my office to go locate the crazy mother who named her beautiful new born,
Dewight Dewitt. You would think the mother would have known better.. after all, the mothers name was. Delite Dewitt. True story from 1973
This was so hilarious. It's not even so much your subject matters that are so funny, although they are, but it's your comedic timing. I suppose it's the little things that just crack me up completely like in the comment section, "My name is Steve and I'm a homosexual", then you said, "This sounds like an opening to a GA meeting". I laughed out loud so much and I'm at the office now where we all go to AA meetings and we also make fun of them. Everyone is looking at me wondering what is so funny. But the reason I picked this hub to read is because I was going down your list and read the first paragraph and just thought I would loose it with laughter regarding the male purse and the diaper bag. You are too much. Honestly. As if I didn't have enough addictions and meetings to attend, now I'm addicted to your hubs. I've got to tell you about my friend Ben sometime that I'm trying my damndest to make into a drag queen star and Miss Gay Universe. We were neighbors at an apartment complex that is full of drama when we met and we hated each other. I hated him because he told my son that my dog was ugly. Oh don't get me started. He had his nerve while his dog had a smashed in face and was the ugliest creature God made. Well we became really good friends and Ill tell you about it later. Sadly Ben is in jail right now for cussing out the cops. He called them on his ex because he thought his ex stole his cat and his pot of pot sitting on the front stoop. New Rules Ben: Never call the cops on someone for stealing your drugs. But they didn't even arrest him for that. He kept getting irrate with them and they kept telling him to shut up and he wouldn't. But anyhow. I miss him and hope he gets out soon.
Hi there! I'm actually a writer and am submitting a short story (which is just a long, drawn out conversation on a car ride after a fake funeral) and literally Googled, "good gay name" to find something for one of my central characters! Yours was the first entry and it was hilarious!!! Of course, my name is what happens when two hippies get a hold of some badly laced weed...
I find it funny all three of my names are on that list.
My name is pretty gay if you ask me!!!
THIS is why I love gay people!
You must be hating on one of your ex-lovers because those names are not gay!!! As for the AA names, just as your parents chose a shitty name like Scott, all I can think of is something to wipe by behind with. I'm sorry that Aquansha never gave you a date, maybe D'quan will.
You do know that it is not biologically possible for a person to be born gay? And even if they were, so what? What's your fascination with homosexuality all about? It must really say something about you...
No good stories or big thrill here..., I found this site because I was looking for a good - yet different name to call a GLBT writing group. You know, something witty, something wimsical, or perhaps making a statement that was both fun and meaningful for GLBTs. Didn't want to get into cliche' or political - because life is way too serious anymore...
I read the comments before the actual article. So funny! Well I feel bad that people are commenting like that, saying negative stuff. It's like "say something nice or don't say anything." Some people need to find the difference between being rude, humorous, and having an opinion. Personally, I think you did a great job, Scott. Keep it up!
lol hey scott, i'm straight, but my nam was changed when i got adopted. i used to be D'Quan. i googled that name, and found this! :P i changed my name to trey, because it sounded nice and american lol, but would it be gay to go by my middle name preston? or else the nick nme Tracey,because i tend to go by both lol.
i named my gay son adam ferria springwood 4127
I found this site because a close friend astounded me when he said that if parents give their sons a "gay" or feminine name the child will surely turn out gay!!! I couldn't believe that he said this and believes it!
my very fem brother is colin and gets colleen,colly and col. are all colins gay?
thanks for the colin comment,heres another question.
People with only one first name,do you find any significance?
sorry no i actually meant only one christian(or first name) and a surname,mine is jean ..... and colin is as is and surname.....
Completely Hilarious!! Have to admit that as a teenager I loved "Bryce" for a boy, but one of my brothers would always say the name back to me with the lisp. So great, if I had a son, and he turned out to be gay, I'd be setting him up to get his a#@ kicked from here to Kingdom Come. Found this because of hubKarma, I'd written a hub about how some of the abusive names I'd heard in working with pregnant people, and this came up. Great job!
First, correct your grammar if you're going to criticize others. "can anyone explain to me the whole apostrophe atrocities that occur like D'Onfre or D'Mia - me a don't understand."
Stop perpetuating a bad, derogative stereotype and get educated before you blow off on a topic.
Names with a apostrophe are common in other nations, for instance Italy, France, (possibly taking on the WASP approach of using family names for first names) and some African nations. I learned this when working with a Nigerian named G'Nai, and the New York news reporter named Na'eem. Apostrophes are also common in native Hawaiian; for instance, the proper spelling of Hawaii is Hawai'i and Kauai is Kaua'i.
Finally, for that matter, I myself bear an English name with an apostrophe that originated in early America from one of the great American frontiersmen. However I won't divulge that information in order to prevent your queenie, self-coronated person from having "further fodder" on this inane topic.
i read the article...hilarious. completely. dude, you even knew when i was going to 'lol' ...lol. anyways, colin is a pretty gay name. i had a friend Collin once...same thing, right? Unless, was the guy further up actually saying Colin as in not a 'Collin' at all, but an actual Colin who had dumb parents with no capability of thinking that, basically, they were naming their child 'Shitsack.' anyways, collin turned out to be gay and gets ripped off every time he buys weed to satisfy depression from Disease of Homosexuality and could -not afford treatment at the Bunny Ranch. further more, most of you that commented on this article are dumb and funny bastards. and yes, i can stereotype on people with shitty dads who left while i type in all lower case and bad grammar to piss off that other guy up there, too. I think some parents are just so stupid that they do indeed *%#@ their kids over, Random Mam, and names mean a lot. jerry seinfeld sais 'if you name your kid "jeeves," arent you destining him to be a butler? in fact, if you name your kid trey, then yes, trey, you are close to tracey, and an actual trace would be completely screwed, so, luckily, you're only 2/3 screwed with trey.
anyways, good writing style, scott. i would use it if anybody gave a crap what i used ever to do anything. oh, and yes, i agree with the african names. i took a class that had tons of blacks. there were latishyas and teniquas and all they did was sit there and ask questions because they didn't understandya. i just sat there all class entertained by latisha's, d'andro's, who felt special because at some points in the english language his name can be apostrophed twice, and shikinina's bombasity as i pounded aquafina.
Is Chad not possibly the gayest name in the world?
Is AJ saying Collin is the correct male spelling and Colin is a more effeminte version? also what do you think Scot?
I think this is offensive and you're only promoting gay stereoypes. What is wrong with a "gay name" (if there is even such a thing). You're ignorance is astounding.
good blog! a friend sent it to me. i found it interesting because my brother wanted to name his son Maximus & my parents said it sounded gay. i thought quite the contrary. i thought it was an awesome name, very different for current times & very masculine.
You Rock
Scott you are a riot! I absolutely loved this article! especially the part about the whole miniature license plate deal…being a car geek like myself I always wanted one of those to put on my bike when I was little LOL. So now I was wondering if you would please show me how you could gay up my name, Joshua? I'm still in my teens and still figuring out who I want to be as I get older, but I have definitely without a doubt know that I am gay and find articles like these that use humor and homosexuality to help me become more and more comfortable with myself, which may or may not be what you were aiming for but I'd still like to thank you for it. So again how would you gay up Joshua, just cause I can't figure it out and I'm dying to know if for no other reason than the fun of it!
Thanks!
Thanks Scott! I don't know if Shua would really work for me but its a neat thought! Definitely creative! And you really got my hopes up with the homosexual kit! I was beginning to think I was getting a late Christmas gift! HAHA! As for my middle name, its creative as well - Kiernan. So if you don't mind me bothering you one more time with this "gay name game" what would you do with that?
Thanks again,
Joshua
Hey. The reason I found this blog is because I was searching for Hot gay names, for a book, I’m writing and got this. Lmao! Oh well. For me my Mother also nearly named me Seth.
Instead I was named Tobiah after a bible character that had over 600 sons and daughters, was extremely well liked, a good person and lastly defiled God's house with a party. Considering I want a large family, Volunteer for the needy, I’m extremely popular, was raised a Jehovah Wittiness and now hate the religion and am planning my coming out speech at a J.W church meeting to get back at everyone, I was more then accurately named.: )
My Mother loved the name Toby since she was a little girl from the t.v series Toby Tyler but was afraid of the name not being manly enough, when I grew up. Being that my family on both sides are taller then 6 ft and very strong, you can see her reasoning and wasn't far off. So she found Tobiah, the barbaric cave man version of the name Toby and as masculine as they come. (No, not Tobias ‘Lisp’ which is the English variation of the original name but pronounced: Toe-bi-ah, which I never realized until just now, has “Bi” in it, I guess I was doomed from the start despite her efforts) . LOL!
Everyone shortens it to twink-ish without thought: Toby, including me, simply cause no one can say Tobiah right and it does sound kind of “hot boyish” to me, being 20 and a stud, I‘m aloud it. :P I was also named Kai for it means ocean in Hawaiian, which is my middle name. I’m in love with water. >.< And then we have my last name which is Cox. Do I have to explain where kids took liberties with that? Oh, so how many Cocks do you have?… And lastly I also like the name Seth. I must be the epitome of all Twink-ness in the universe cause I like Toby and Kai and the initials of both: T.K, sometimes with my name was Seth and lastly my last name Cox. It’s odd how I didn't realize it but somewhere deep down always knew why I liked those name’s. J
Although I'm a straight acting gay guy, names are definitely where my gayness shines and where I wave that rainbow flag way up high. P.S I had a boyfriend for a while with the last name Long, I was going to merge our two last names if we ever got married to make: Long Cox. Could you imagine being introduced as the gay couple with that last name? Talk about hilarious. Bwahahaha! I should get an award for Having the Gayest name of all time. LMAO!
Love your blog and love my name more then ever.
Toby did you know Kai also means Food in Maori?
I am sure you can do some twinkish thing with that too.
luv jeangurl
where is everyone :-)
I just read that the Soccer player David Beckhams little boy is called Kai,
Oh wow mine went like this:
Mara
Maranda
Sparkle (stripper name) XD
gotta love the stripper name and as i read in one of the earlier comments my name is chris and i am changing my name to my middle name but i dnt know which one yet i have two paul and jacob i think i will like the name jacob better but im not sure haha i just need to change my name when i come out hahah my favorite guy name is haro and the girl name is charlene charlie for short and btw they dnt do gay inteventions anymore hahaha
@Jclason
I couldn't agree more. There is no such thing as a "gay name." Stereotypes like this are extremely hurtful to myself and the LGBT community, and the fact that a majority of the people commenting are encouraging such an act just goes to show how ignorant most of the human population is. I understand that it is a little out of the ordinary for a man to have a name intended to be for women, but that only makes it a "female name" not a "gay name." I happen to have many male friends with feminine names, and many female friends with masculine names. Are they homosexual? Some of them. Is it because of their name? Absolutely not. Your name has nothing to do with who you are except that it is the title given to you by your parents. In the future I hope you would be a little more aware of the hurt this causes certain people.
"jeangurl 5 weeks ago
I just read that the Soccer player David Beckhams little boy is called Kai,"
Where did you read that? The Beckhams have 3 boys, Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz. And they've just had a baby girl, Harper Seven. Gay names or just wierd?
@Parker Very odd I havent been able to find the Kai reference to the Beckhams again, so you are obviously right.
As for the other boys names perhaps not wierd but weird LOL.
My Baby Girl Is Due Tmrw! Her Name Is Snow Nicole!!!!!!!
Just accept other people's choices. This is a very stupid pointless blog. You are showcasing that you have the astounding ability to judge others, which is not admirable.
There was a girl in my class one year and her name was spelled: Le-a. She got furious when "stupid people" pronounced it Leah. No no, it's pronounced "La-dash-uh" WOW!
get a life























livelonger Level 6 Commenter 4 years ago
HILARIOUS! And so true! Don't forget the aged ex-twinks still keep the Billy/Bobby nicknames that only seem to fit people half their age. Some of them have a really hard time graduating into adulthood.